Going from a size 12 to a size 16 is hard; mentally, emotionally and physically on any woman. But what makes it hard is when you have no control. The medicine I take for my heart has made me gain over 70 pounds in a year and a half. It's been very tough adjusting to the new me. It's hard to see myself as beautiful. It's even harder to see myself as cute in anything I wear. But I'm trying to love myself the way I am because I know this was not my fault. I have been changing my life, my ways and my eating. In about two months time I have lost a pants size, back into 14. I was so thrilled the other day at the store when I put 14's on, and was able to button them up easily. It made me so happy. I know I have a long way to go to get to where I want to be before the wedding, but for now this little step proves that something I am doing is working and I can beat this. Please, losing weight helps my heart, which helps me beat this heart disease slowly.
It's frustrating seeing size 2's wear the cutest outfits and know that the outfit won't look anything like that on you. But I've realized it doesn't matter what they wear. What matters is what I wear and what looks good on my body and makes me feel good about my body. I've been doing tons of online research for outfits and been testing them out to see what looks good on my body. I've got to say I'm starting to see myself as beautiful again. That's what really matters in life is to be able to see your own beauty as well as others. Be happy in your skin, love yourself, because you are beautiful.
Love always,
Amanda
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